I married a non- hugger , I mean he would hug but he didnt quite understand how or why. Like many non-huggers, he didn’t understand that hugging could be a literal lifesaver. Growing up my family was full of huggers, we hug hello , goodbye, we hug when we are sad ,happy or need support. We are just always hugging. When My husband and I started dating it took him a while to understand what all this hugging was about.

The serenity prayer was the tool I had to turn to when Shane was in rehab for 30 days. I wasn’t a Christian yet , I wasn’t an alcoholic and I wasn’t in recovery but a friend shared this prayer with me during that very difficult and confussing time and it was the only thing that made any sense at the time.

Will you be in denial and push it away?

Will you embrace cahnge and move forward into the newness of what it will bring?

I, myself , tend to be  a processor. I have to talk it out, I have to find some kind of relation. I can always tell that change is coming or has to happen when  these things start happening;

When Shane left for rehab I was scared , I was lost, I was anxious, I was a mama of one , I had no idea what to expect. I was mad, I was grateful, I was angry, I was facing the results of a loved one's addiction and I had no idea what to do. 

I Never knew My husband was an alcoholic but before I knew it he was in rehab for 30 days and I was left home figuring it all out.

Out of the two of us, Shane was the one who went to rehab but we both lived a life hiding from reality in drugs and alcohol. I guess the only difference I see in our paths was that once our daughter was born I knew when to throw in the towel and Shane went full throttle.

Shane gets quite a few emails through the podcast from wives who are trying to navigate their own journey of loving their husband through their addiction. I decided to reflect on some ways that helped me through my husband’s time in rehab.